i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
