I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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