you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
