seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
