Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize