69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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