Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
