I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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