Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
