return my video game
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
