my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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