Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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