You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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