Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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