he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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