so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
