this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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