I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
