Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
