It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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