We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
