I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i think my cat just said my name.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
