Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
