She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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