you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
