did you get engaged???
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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