i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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