So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
