I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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