i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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