Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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