wake up i wanna do it froggy style
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
