I cannot find my penis.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
