That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
