All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
