i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So here I am, sexting at work.
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