kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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