Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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