I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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