Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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