Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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