u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
