Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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