That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
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She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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