I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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