im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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