Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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