Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But we have bathrooms and they dont
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
