I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
