Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize