Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
