apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
