My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
