I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
