So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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