I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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