I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
