You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
