So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
